You have been wondering where Mustard Man went. Well, now you know. And he thanks you for your concern. No, really.
Dear Loyal Fans,Mustard Man would like to thank all of you who have written him in the past three months.
This has all been one huge misunderstanding. What I thought was a sampler pack for a condiment manufacturer's convention in Istanbul turned out to be 10 kilos of high-grade heroin.
This was not my heroin. Mustard Man is strictly a coke and pot kind of guy. Needles are disgusting, messy things.
I'm sure that this will all work itself out. My lawyer assures me.
Once again, I thank you for your support.
Yours truly,
Mustard Man (aka "Prisoner 0175236")
Don't get shivved, Mustard Man!