Ripped from the headlines, Mustard Man confronts a horror in his own house. However, I'm not so sure he's terribly reassuring with his public statement.
I'm sure you're aware of the news of a woman who found a fingertip in a bottle of her Mustard Man mustard.It's all a lie.
I'd like to state for the record that it did not get in there at the factory. We have high quality standards for our mustard and make every effort to filter out severed body parts well before the bottling process.
I'm sure that it fell in there at some kind of dinner party. Happens all the time.
Especially in leper colonies.
We sell a lot of mustard to leper colonies for some strange reason.
Blech.