This is the first chapter in the Wacky Adventures of Abraham Lincoln, where a famous Lincoln quote is turned upside down and inside out in 100 words.
"How long must a man's legs be? Long enough to reach the ground."
Abraham looked down and winced.His legs dangled from the chair. He kicked and swung them, but they never reached the floor.
Abraham bit his fist and cried silently, his face a twisted mask of agony.
"Abraham!" yelled Mary Todd. "Come down here this instant!"
"My legs are not long enough to reach the ground!" yelled Abraham. "Nobody must see me this way! Tell the generals to all go home!"
"Abraham!" she shouted. "Oh, my sweet darling Abraham!"
He cried loudly, whimpering.
Mary Todd cried, too. She'd give every penny she had to see her Abraham's bright, shining face again.
Now we know.