This is the second chapter in the Wacky Adventures of Abraham Lincoln, where a famous Lincoln quote is turned upside down and inside out in 100 words. We continue the assault on the quote from chapter one...
"How long must a man's legs be? Long enough to reach the ground."
Abraham rubbed the ointment on his thighs and calves for a week. Soon, he was his old, tall self again.But not for long.
The trouble started when he began grazing a few chandeliers. Then, he'd bump his head on archways.
Finally, he had to duck to keep from braining himself on the ceiling.
"I have exchanged one Hell for another!" shouted Abraham on his high, stilt-like legs. "This is agony!"
"Yes, but they reach the ground now, right?" said Mary Todd.
Abraham sighed. At least he could scrape the butter-pats off of the ceiling that Tad kept flicking there.
You just had to ask, Abe.