Jesus Week continues... now we're supposed to write about why you're feeling so tense.
The title is a rip from Repo Man.
Would you like to know why I'm so tense? I turn water into wine, but wedding guests complain that it's not a good year. I multiplied the loaves and fishes, but people whine about carbohydrates and mercury levels. The leper I cured didn't grow back any of the appendages that rotted off, so he's saying I did a half-assed job. After that, Lazarus whines that his terminal cancer wasn't cured, but he can't die from it now. So he suffers constantly. Bitch bitch bitch. Finally, I come back from the dead, and I miss the weekend. What a goddamned crock.
And roll the credits backwards!