Because 100 Words Or Les Nessman is going dark on the weekends, Saturdays are now officially "Wacky Adventures Of Abraham Lincoln" days.
And to get things started off, let's check in with Abe as he talks about his mother...
"All I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother," said Abraham Lincoln."So what advice did she give you?" asked Mary Todd.
"The last thing she said was 'God fucks everyone up the ass with a hammer!' really loud," said Abe. "It makes perfect sense, too."
"What kind of hammer?" asked Mary Todd.
"Um..." stammered Abe. "I don't know."
Abe spent the rest of his life shoving different hammers up his ass. Claw hammers, sledge hammers, jackhammers...
Only as he was strolling bowlegged into Ford's Theater did he realize he should have shoved them in handle-first.
Tune in next Saturday for more thrilling Wacky Adventures Of Abraham Lincoln!
