Whenever the theme is annoying, I blow it off and work up my own.
Since nobody else seems to be writing about Les Nessman anymore, why should I? I guess it's been long enough since the last Wacky Adventure of Abraham Lincoln... let's go with that.
Grant nearly choked on his flask. "What do you mean he wants to know what brand of whiskey I drink?" "I'm not sure," said his secretary. "Someone in the press called you a drunk, and Lincoln asked what brand you drink so he can give it to his other generals." "So they'll run out of it?" asked Grant. "No," said the secretary. "He's saying he doesn't care if you're a hopeless drunk." "Well, it's about time," said Grant. "Coming to bed?" The secretary nodded, and wondered if Lincoln would order his other generals to engage in violent homosexual sex, too.
Tomorrow, I have the theme. And I think it's a good one. Timely, too.

