Inspired by Mikeypod.

My friend Mikey is one of those political vegans. He orders what he calls non-violent foods, made from healthy ingredients that don’t come from exploiting farm animals.

Today, he’s at a bistro ordering a “non-violent pizza” with garlic, tomatoes, broccoli, and soy cheese.

But the chef has other, sinister plans. He puts on his rubber gloves, reaches for the glowing tubs of shredded meat, and constructs... The Violent Pizza!

In a matter of minutes, a horrifying, angry pizza-creature will burst from the brick oven.

Terrified patrons will scatter and flee.

Mikey, however, will smile and calmly ask for a salad.

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