They say you can’t put the genie back in the bottle.
This is not true
First, you have to club the genie in the back of the head, knocking them unconscious.
Then, slit their throat with a knife.
Cut them up into smallish pieces that will fit in an industrial blender.
Finally, with the blender set on Liquefy, render the genie into a slurry.
Oh, and you might need a plastic kitchen funnel so you don’t spill any.
I used to dissolve genies with acid in my bathtub, but it’s so much easier to pour them straight from the blender.
On the off chance you've wandered over here from the Crap Mariner blog looking for my podcast roundup, that blog's still on strike.
The roundup will be posted on Friday