Aquaman lays back in his tub, watching the Olympics on a portable television.

The announcer says Michael Phelps' name, and the superhero winces.

A twinge of jealousy. A scowl. A clenched fist.

He looks at his costume folded up on the toilet seat.

Orange, green, black, and yellow... sure, the colors are ugly, but it's a classic.

And functional, too, he reminds himself. That technological suit they wear in the Olympics still can't produce race times like a true superhero.

Or let them talk to fish.

“Give it up, dude,” says his pet goldfish.

Aquaman sighs, and changes the channel.

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