Another classic from Andrew Ian Dodge, who is involved in more projects than I am while doing a far better job with all of his...

There once was a young Tory guy who wanted to be an MP. He worked very hard for the party, became a counsellor, went to all the right conferences and followed the party line. Then one day a bright young Tory leader came along and told our hero was no longer needed. You see he was born white, straight and male; all things bad in the modern Conservative Party. Of course this is not a tale of fantasy or fiction but ever so true. Count yourself lucky you are this poor soul. What a terrible waste of a young life.

Remember, folks. The microphone you own is always open. Feel free to write and/or record a story for posterity's sake.

All I ask is that it be 100 words long.

Today, you're in for a special treat. This story was written by multitalented Londoner Andrew Ian Dodge.

That's right. Someone finally took me up on an offer to post a guest-written story.

Yay!

Trevor began reading out the words before him; clearly and precisely. He worded it as it was meant to be read. The room began to vibrate and the air became musty. The flames grew higher and higher as they turned blood red. Trevor concentrated on the script for all he was worth. His concentration meant he didn't see what rose from the altar. The tentacle rose to full length before it focused on Trevor. He didn't notice when it wrapped round him and pulled him towards the altar. By the time he noticed it was too late; he was gone.

I was going to have him read the story, but the server isn't big enough to handle all the site mentions and plugs he tends to add to his podcasting efforts.

Okay, just kidding. Let's see... Growing Old Disgracefully and Shire News Network and...

Anyway, if you'd like to write and/or read aloud a 100 word story for this podcast, just write me and we'll get it out there for everyone to enjoy.

Andrew Ian Dodge has not only written a fine piece, but he's read it aloud, too.

There are those who spout utter crap and claim it to be true fact. Left or right it does not matter just as it long as it causes the media to natter. There are those who spend their time trying to correct this rubbish day after day. The end facts do matter don't they?

Whether its something minor or major about war or your odd neighbour. The facts are what matter because they are what is the truth. Lies beget lies and can lead to lots of bother. I hope that I am in the group that pursues the latter.

Andrew can also be found on Growing Old Disgracefully and Shire News Network and...

Lots of places. More places than me, in fact.

Here's another story from guest writer and artist Andrew Ian Dodge

A young man sat cowering in his London flat, fearing for his life.

You see, he was a thrusting blogger who took his belief in free speech just a mite too far. For some.

The lad use his newfound voice, having been a a bit sheepish before to launch into a scathing critique of Islam and Mohammed.

His rants grew more biting, until he recorded a nice little kitty about the Quran.

He was praised all over, from New Zealand to Russia. His admirers however would not protect him from the angry mob outside, the ones yelling Allah Ackbhar!

Another fine tale from Andrew Ian Dodge, inspired by the shutdown of the London Transit System over New Year's.

There was a group of men who thought they were clever; by shutting down the London Underground on New Years Eve. They ruined the night for many of their fellow Londoners; but probably expected sympathy. And annoyed a few more with their heartless smugness. In the coming year they will suffer much abuse and no doubt wonder why.

And those people who would normally be upset seeing an RMT member verbally abused will probably look away. There will no doubt even be some cheers.

The union member will probably not realise what they have wrought with their heartless holiday endeavor.

It's a hard-hitting rant in 100 words by Andrew Ian Dodge for your enlightenment and concern today...

In the country called Venezuela they have a leader who continues to echo one from the past.

This leader came from Austria and led a greater Germany; his evil is legendary. His politics were socialist in a nationalist way, and he believed Jews were the greatest enemy to all mankind.

Despite his crimes, there are leaders who ape his policies.

Mr Chavez is one such man. He likes to think he is the new Che; but in fact he is closer to the new Fuhrer.

First Venezuela, now Bolivia and where to next?

Oh never-mind nothing to worry about right?

Technically, he calls them the "Christ-killers" in his speech.

I didn't realize the Romans controlled the world these days. Did you?

Anyway, now that Andrew's going to be a regular feature here, I've added a section there on the right margin to list his many projects and sites. Just scroll down a bit past the wiggly Cthulhu icon thing.

I'm going to need to set up a category for Andrew, I think.

Here's his latest, which is kind of a poem and a song, too...

That glow you have Like from my nano Lights up my days Lettin' me know, I ain't alone

You're there as a lead
Through my life's toils
Standing me in good stead
Helping me through my many foils

Like the iPod's many tunes
You are a soundtrack to my life
Guiding me through the dunes
Helping things through strife

You plugged into my heart
A line of power to my soul
Getting to me like a sharp dart

Music to my hurting ears
One that technology can't provide
There to prevent all those tears
Letting me know where to hide

And if any of you out there have your own stories you'd like to start publishing here or elsewhere, let me know and I'll be glad to pass the word along to the tiny sliver of the world that listens to my little feed.

Sort of a diary entry in 100 words from Andrew Ian Dodge today...

It started out as a kind offer from a rock band friend of Growing Old Disgracefully. We were to have our official live debut playing a few tunes acoustically as "special guests". It would be a great way to dip our musical toes in the live scene. The dipping seems to have become a plunge. The opening band has pulled out and we are now the openers. We will play as many as we can get rehearsed. I, for one, can't wait to get out there; getting stage fright afterwards as I always do. So Stripes Bar here we come!

I'm hoping for bootleg recordings.

Andrew sent me this one a few days ago about some drunk British politician or something. I'm a little drunk from Kennealy's and four pints, so pardon me if I just step out of the way and wake up tomorrow to fix the code for this...

Charles Kennedy is fond of the bottle; unfortunately he was fond of being leader of the Liberal Democrats as well. He refused to admit he was addicted to Whisky so he has lost his party's top job in Westminster. He never admitted he was alcoholic to himself, to his party or his voters. They all found out they were duped and turned on him sharply. His leadership was stumbling towards disaster and his end was inevitable. Now the party has to decide a new leader exposing the fact that Social Democrats and Liberals shouldn't really be in the same party.

I really need a nap, but the bird keeps singing outside my window, dammit!

Hey, folks! It's time for some more excellent musings from Andrew Ian Dodge. Let's check in with his favorite apologist for Saddam and the Syrians...

George Galloway, Hamas, er I mean RESPECT MP for Bethnal Green & Bow is currently doing celebrity Big Brother. He claims he is doing it to raise "issues" with a larger audience that aren't normally engaged in politics. Now his constituents have taken exception to him farting around in a house with Denis Rodman and a transvestite 80's pop star; when he should be representing their interests in the House of Commons...which their taxes pay him for. Now are they being ever so unreasonable? Even better his fee is going to a terrorist front; according to the US State Department.

Right on the button, as always!

You can catch Andrew Ian Dodge at all the sites under the squiggly squirmy Cthulhu icon.

Andrew Ian Dodge looks at Maine and finds the fignerprints of one of the biggest maniacs on the planet...

In the bizarre world that is North America, and no I don't mean Canuckland, the Maine governor has signed a deal with Hugo Chavez of Venezuela to provide cheap oil. Now Maine is not the slightest bit up in arms about its Governor sucking up to an anti-semite, anti-American socialist dictator. Chavez, routinely rhetorically supports America's enemies and is a good buddy of Fidel Castro. There are other states in the snow belt who have been offered the deal. They all refused. And where are Maine's Senators on this? The outrage? Mainiacs are seriously in trouble if they are not incensed.

We here in Texas will go back to horses and saddles before touching Chavez's charity.

More political insight from our friend across the pond, Andrew Ian Dodge...

Five blokes are itching to lead their party or at least their version of the party. What party you might ask? Well this time it's the Liberal-Democrats turn to pick a new leader after their previous one fell for being an chronic alky. Political hacks & addicts will have noted that there are two clear parts of the party who are not just divided by a hyphen. As the race moves on all five of these men attempt to be everything to all members but at the same time reassuring their "base". Who will fall off the leadership tightrope first?

Oh well. There goes my hope of his Friday Catpodcasting.

Andrew Ian Dodge comes back from a weekend with another fine story about life in London:

Today I got back from a lovely weekend with my girlfriend, Kim. Alas, there was one downside. I had to pay £3 for a one way ticket within Zone 1-2. The last time I did this it was £2.20. In other words our lovely socialist terrorist-loving Mayor has managed to increase fares way over inflation. It is patently obvious that he thinks anyone using the tube at peak times is obviously rich. Would it surprise you to hear Ken wants us to all have Oyster cards which allow the London Underground to track your every move? Big brother Ken methinks.

And yet it's George Galloway on Big Brother?

Another classic from Andrew Ian Dodge...

Mr. Halpern wrote to the letter's page of the Telegraph.

...The UN should make it clear that any unauthorised military strike against Iran by Israel would lead to a boycott of all Israeli goods by the EU and Nafta.

Israel has not right to defend herself; even if attacked? Most UN countries boycott Israel already; the UN are a bunch of Jew-hating cretins. This nitwit went on to claim that since Israel has not signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty they have no right to complain. I wonder if he knows how moronic his letter reads? Or should that be judenhass?

One day, we'll get a happy story about fluffy bunnies and hugs from Andrew. I just know it.

Ooooh, and duckies!

Andrew Ian Dodge looks in his crystal ball and tries to read the swirling tealeaves within...

It is January 17th 2007 at 10pm in the east. A long-haired rocker awaits his cue calmly; while a certain Jewish Texan quips methodically and amuslingly in a studio in Houston. The co-host twitches like a cat in heat in anticipation of launching into his latest rant against Iran. The pair are counted in...5,4,3,2.1...

"It's the Dodge & Simon Hour from Houston, Texas and the centre of London."

Andrew and Laurence launch right into the chat they were having off radio; now with a large radio audience.

"So the attack on Iran is imminent?"

"Imminent takes too long..." retorts Simon.

The correct time to remove any warmongering dictator bent on genocide is yesterday.

Andrew Ian Dodge tells a little tale from his experiences reviewing some online games...

There's a type of person who inhabits MMORPGS: the ganker or griefer. These types, who are generally male, use every possible exploit they can to make sure they can bully other players; primarily those of a lower level. Any criticism is met with cries of "whiner" or "go play something else". What these fools don't care about is the fact they ruin the game for others and in many cases kill off the game they are playing. You see they don't care that game companies need players to keep a game going. Like bullies; all that matters is their fun.

Me, I stay away from them. Because there's no reason to pay ten bucks a month to hear others whine.

Andrew Ian Dodge does a Dear Diary in his latest...

Last night I attended the CD launch of the new 100 Reasons CD Kill Your Own at the rather nice HQ of V2 Records in Holland Park. The record company is housed in a lovely large house with its own bar in the basement. The new CD was produced by the guitarist and is an interesting mixture of modern heavy rock and old school metal. Its not released until March; but I was generally rather impressed. It was nice to hear some of the fellow rock journos recognised my band name when I mentioned it. An early evening well spent.

Where can the CD be bought online?

On a site that's full of crap, Andrew Ian Dodge talks about scat...

In politics one expects to get shat on every now and then. It is expected that the excrement will strike the ventilation device at times. Mark Oaten MP likes it; quite literally. He is not humiliated enough to be in party that will never be in government. No doubt some of the more curious of you hearing this have opened an email or “stumbled” on a scat site. Oaten used to be a shadow cabinet member and very recently a candidate for the leadership of the Lib-Dems….now he is bringing the shit down on his own party. Well; shit happens.

Kinda makes you wonder about Scatman Crothers.

Andrew Ian Dodge has a story about the politics in the UK...

As I probably said before politics in the UK are getting rather odd. First we have Lib-Dems going into rapid meltdown; as first they lose an alky leader only to lose a leadership candidate with a penchant for scat. Not to be outdone the Tories are rapidly convincing everyone they aren’t Conservatives. They have done this so well that Rupert Murdoch has expressed his doubts in Cameron. Murdoch doesn’t like Blair either. We can expect the Sun’s headline next election to be They’re all rubbish! Vote Raving Loony! Alas Screaming Lord Sutch isn’t around to lead his party to victory!

Ah, yes. Too bad that every party here in the US is filled with loonies.

Greedy loonies.

Hey, Andrew Ian Dodge! How's the Moonbat scene up there in Fogtown?

Yesterday the following email for my band G.o.D. came into my in-head PDA/phone system.”We, the Astoroid Protection League protest the exploitation of asteroids. We deplore the actions of the Simon Asteroid Mining Company and call on all Asteroidalists to take direct action against the violation of mother universe. “ It continues: “asteroids are not there for the exploitation of man but are there to spread good-will around the universe.” Then there was a paragraph blaming this all on the Zionists of the Moon and George Bush X111. It concludes with a warning that we might just be harming unknown life.

Sounds like there's some space cadets lurking the Underground these days. Gonna make this into a song?

Andrew's got a new story for you to enjoy... ready?

Here we go!

In the Telegraph yesterday there was an interesting leader pointing out the electoral change in fortunes for the Canadian Conservative party.

On Monday, David Cameron wrote in this newspaper of the massive electoral mountain that the Tories had to climb. His Canadian counterparts have scaled a much higher peak. Their success is worth studying.

At a recent meeting I asked Michael Gove MP if he were looking at the Canadian Conservatives for pointers. He said: “no I am not an anorak and am not interested in their elections. They have nothing to show us.” This attitude should be rather worrying…

Yeah!

Andrew Ian Dodge tells of Galloways booting from the Big Brother house...

George Galloway, late of the Big Brother house and his booed exit, will not only learn that the Serious Fraud Office is after his arse, but those to whom he considers himself a saviour. It seems there has been a serious backlash amoungst Muslims about his antics in the BB house. In fact one group. The Saved Sect has launched a fatwa against him; claiming he is “an animal” and claimed he is “a man of low intellect and morality.” Well, I never, something we can agree with radical Islamists on. Who’d a thunk it? I mean really…odd innit?

Maybe he will be going to the Big House next?

Andrew Ian Dodge ponders the life of a musician and why one gets into music:

I was thinking today about being a musician and having a band. It struck me that the old adage is really rather true. You start a band to get laid. No matter how much we prattle on about wanting to “express ourselves;” its all crap. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but I do rather tire of twits like that knob out of Coldplay going on about doing music to “change the world”. I am sure one of the reasons most musos jump at charity causes is because of guilt. Very few give a damn about the cause.

I find it all highly amusing.

Andrew Ian Dodge does his usual political scrying and reports...

Another weekend and more a consolidation of Lib-Dem scandals than any new ones. Readers of the News of the Screws were greeted with an interview and picture of the ballet dancer/rent-boy involved with Mark Oaten. Considering how much the guy makes and charges its more like Mortgage boy.

Steyn makes an interesting point:

Forty per cent of Lib Dems now say they want Charles Kennedy back in charge. Another week, and the rest will be happy to take Jeremy Thorpe.

Lib-Dems seem to think the scandals won’t hurt them at all. Their plummeting polling numbers are an illusion I guess.

How about some unicorns?

He's our generation's Kurt Cobain, but without the huge holes in his head... it's Andrew Ian Dodge!

Old enough to know better Just too young to care Old enough to know better Too damn drunk to care

Growing Old Disgracefully
Beats dying young & innocent

Growing up does not mean
Working hard all day
worrying about keeping lean
Or if you are going all grey

Bald, white or silver hair
You can still rock like hell
No need to be in despair
Until they ring da final bell.

Death comes to you whatever
Being boring don’t make you last

We are by the grace of
Whatever or whomever let’s us stay alive
Why bother sitting & praying

I'm holding up a lit cigarette lighter.

Andrew Ian Dodge jumps on the whole Danish Cartoon Kerfuffle...

Its pretty amazing that so much trouble is being caused by just 12 cartoons from a tiny country called Denmark. Muslim countries in the world are shocked at the testicular fortitude of Danish leaders. It seems clear that the Muslim bully-boys don’t realise that Danes come from Viking stock. The more Muslims threaten Danes with violence and boycott’s the more united they become. Its also interesting to see that many European countries are backing Denmark; not so surprising the EU is backing the Muslim countries. I urge all of you to buy Danish often and stand up for free speech!

Um... er... okay.

Is Pez Danish?

Okay, so it's late by a day. I was busy with... other things.

And now, Andrew Ian Dodge:

Talk is cheap or so it's said

Instead of whingeing, get off the bed

And stop bitching how you are led

Theory is all the fine & dandy

For those who sit around like a pansy

Nothing is done by sitting on your duff

Vamping & posing around in a huff

Time is short & the end is nigh

Freedom comes only for those willing to die

Cry & cry as you might,

but change comes from those willing to fight

Preaching from your chair is all fine & good

But it won’t change anything, for you & your brood

I wonder who he's talking about.

Who's the butchest guy in the world? Not Andrew Ian Dodge, apparently...

I ain't the butchist fellow going Not the best at the ole' pullin' But that is the way it goes Why get uptight any more?

Not gay, but not exactly straight
How do you go about finding mates
So what if wankers think you're gay

So why get upset anyway?
After all it's okay to be fey
And befuddle others along the way

Camp as hell, so what
Viva la difference et al

Queer eye and all that lot
Trying to make men what they're not
Fake metros ain't so cool
Cause they try so hard to be a dude

Yes, but you'll always be more manly than me.

Andrew Ian Dodge continues the beat poetry stories today with Mauled

You had to get involved No matter what the cost Who cares if feelings get mauled? You don't care about that

You think you got what you wanted
But in the end it’s a chalice
A poisoned one at that
One that will tear you apart

When it all goes to hell
You will plead you didn’t know
But ultimately you will pay

What goes around, comes around
Fate has a bite ready for thee
I don't hate you my friend

I pity your ultimate fate
Everyone will soon learn the truth
And you'll be the one to get burned

I'll remember this one.

Andrew Ian Dodge gets a bit dark here for a bit...

Darkness comes for me, trying to envelope me To take me away, into a black void

Foreboding images cloud my mind, never leaving me behind
A gathering doom mine alone,
Such constant gathering drone

It stalks me night & day, No matter where I may be
Ever closer all the time, mocking me with doom
This fate is mine alone, everywhere I roam
Will follow me always, until it catches me some day

To the hills in darkness, I will be led,
Matching my reality, with all my mental calamity
To the hills in darkness, I will be led

Wow. I'm so uplifted and happy now!

Andrew Ian Dodge looks at an upcoming Muslim rally in London with apprehension...

Londoners look to Feb 18th with fear and dread; wondering if they are safe to tread… in their city. We look back at the rally last Friday and the message we saw; wondering if those Muslims marching this time will take them to heart. Calling for all our deaths and torture does not encourage faith in their wanting to be good neighbours. Moderates using Nazi propaganda to rant against Jews does not inspire either. Will next week help convince us that British Muslims can live in a civilised society or will it be more of the same? It’s their call.

As the waves get bigger, watch for the hurricane to make landfall.

Andrew Ian Dodge berates a user...

Are you user or friend or someone on whom I can depend Are we disposable Merely to be acceptable?

When will you learn
You'll end up in a berm
Pissed away all your mates
Left with only those you hate

Do you treat all like this
Or Am I just a special case

Are we there for you to diss
Just hurdles in the race

When will you learn
Pissed away all your mates
Left with only those you hate

We exist for your pleasure
It's all about how we measure

Babe you don't burn bridges
You fucking daisy-cutter em'

I'll take two daisycutters, please.

Andrew Ian Dodge takes the holiday to heart...

Love is meant to make you happy. Or does it make you sick and helpless? Some say love will make you blind or crazy or mad or drugged. Love will make you do things you would never normally do, say things you would normally never say and think things you never would normally think. Love drives some to do bad or even evil. To fight, to maim and even kill in some cases. As we celebrate this Valentines Day can we truly say that love is a good thing? Or is it like everything else in life…does it just depend?

What do y'all think?

Andrew Ian Dodge writes 100 words about 100 words...

I have 100 words to make you like me. 100 words to make you love me. Or is that 100 words to make you hate me. 100 words to make you respect me or would I rather you revile me? Why do I do this 100 word lark every day? What exactly does this writer, one, Andrew Ian Dodge, expect to get out of doing this daily exercise? Does he think he will be rich or famous or does he want both? I don’t have an answer and I am he. But then again do we always know our reasons?

I wonder if he'll write 100 words about this?

Andrew Ian Dodge considers the hypocrisy of smoking bans:

One thing that has always amused me is what happens to lefties when they get into government. I am not talking the far-left frothing loons; but the soft-left carrying and sharing type. The ones who used to bleat on about various crypto-fascist “regimes” in North America and other places. In power they ban everything they can find that anyone enjoys. The latest breach of our rights is the total ban on smoking in “public” places. I seem to remember one A. Hitler banned smoking in public places on the grounds it was an affront to the Reich. Labour uber Alles!

We have that problem here, too. Shelley Sekula Gibbs of the Houston City Council is behind an all-out smoking ban in the city, but she claims to be a champion of personal freedoms.

Go figure.

Andrew Ian Dodge tells a tale inspired by the Cthulhu-like squiggly things:

There is a child born of man with black eyes. Not of dark brown but of darkest opal. He will be sought by those of evil, those called the deep ones; those servants of the Great Old One Cthulhu. They seek to end his days as he is a great threat. As he grows he will know them and find them…not to join but to end them. They will seek him high & low; at all costs not matter how high. You need this boy to save us all. Do not fear eyes of black…for they might save you anon.

Know what's a big black eye? My not getting any themes from y'all.

No themes, no stories.

Andrew Ian Dodge is not just a voice at the other end of a wire... or is he?

What of this voice? This voice; I mean mine; the one you are hearing now. On Thursday I am off to record this voice to see if advert companies think its worth something. Needless to say I am listening to adverts more carefully these days; more closely than the actual programs to be honest. I always used to think I was being insulted when someone told me I had a voice for radio. Thought it was a clever way of saying I had a face for radio. I don’t believe that anymore. Will it end up in anything…one never knows.

I have a simple saying "In the end, we're all dead. Have some pie."

Andrew Ian Dodge reaches out and... um... right.

Through all the rioting in the Muslim world and the Avian flu panic some may have missed the News of the Screws’ latest exclusive. Well, it seems that not all Premiership Footballers are totally straight. Not only are some willing to give each other head when drunk; at least one has come up with a novel use for the new slim-line mobile. As far as I understand you shove your phone somewhere stimulating down below and your mates call you repeatedly until you pop off. Might I suggest you don’t borrow a Premiership footballer’s phone… you never know where its been.

That's one person I won't have on speed-dial.

Andrew Ian Dodge keeps up the phone stories...

This week has been a fairly tough one for football fans. First they have found out that not all footballers are the butch macho guys they idolised or lusted after; in the case of women. Now they find out that Wembley stadium, the “home” of football, will not be ready in time for its planned opening in three month’s time for the FA Cup final. The fact footie fans will have to schlep all the way to Cardiff won’t go down well. Those involved claim it will be done this year but can’t promise exactly when. Aw, what a shame!

I'm so spooked, I'm not even touching my own cell phone now.

Andrew Ian Dodge takes a closer look at a poll of British Muslims...

Despite the fact 90% of British Muslims feel loyal to Britain, 40% of Muslims wish to overthrow the state and replace it with a theocratic Muslim dictatorship. A "fifth-column" within the UK as it were.

Not at all reassuring is the fact that 20% in this poll felt sympathy with the “feelings & motives” of 7/7. If one adds to these statistics, the weekly protests in London over the Danish cartoons and free speech, the average British citizen can and probably does feel threatened.

One can only guess what the impact of such revelations will have on the British psyche.

I get the distinct feeling that the restrictive handgun laws will be scruitinized over the next few years.

Andrew Ian Dodge tells a tale about Gilbert...

Gilbert was content with his lot in life; sitting in his bungalow on the edge of Brecon Beacons. His colleagues thought he was nuts to retire at 45 and move to rural Wales. They thought it odd that, unlike most seismologists, he chose to retire away from fault-lines. Gilbert on the other hand knew exactly what he was doing. He, as was the previous occupant of the house, was the watcher of the hills. He was the first line of defence should any thing wake and try to come out this way. Gilbert smiled as he peered towards his hills.

I always wonder why some guys call themselves Gil, others Gilbert, and yet more call themselves Bert. Odd, eh?

Andrew Ian Dodge wants to know your intentions...

That you are evil or devout matters not a jot to me. Because what you are trying to do concerns me greatly. No respect for freedoms or others that is for sure; none but your god. Other cultures or traditions do not move your sort. Because you believe only you and yours are devout enough and true. You see offence at every turn; using it as an excuse to do harm and kill. But you forget one thing, you followers of Allah, freedom will win through. When we cry freedom its not just an act; it’s a statement of intent.

Cry freedom... isn't that a song by Growing Old Disgracefully? Check the links under the squiggly Cthulhu thing for more.

Andrew Ian Dodge gets a little selfish with his latest story...

Selfishness is seen by many as a bad thing. It drives us human beings. You want to make money to buy stuff, get laid, find the right significant other and be comfortable. Your selfish desire for these things drives you to work harder, better and faster. This drives the economy. Why is this bad? If everyone stuck to getting what they want out of life and stopped meddling in other’s affairs life would be a hell of a lot happier for all. Sod the critics and listen to Crowley: “do what thou whilt; shall be the whole of the law.”

Am I being selfish in not plugging Andrew more in the podcasts he generously hands to me to post on the site, or is he being selfish somehow?

Maybe you're being selfish by not sharing them with others?

Andrew Ian Dodge turns fro mthe headlines and looks in the mirror for a moment...

Dark eyes; why are they always seen as bad or evil? Why is it a good thing, as in the song for someone to have their brown eyes turn blue? As you can imagine I have dark brown eyes that have been known to change and become darker at times of intense emotion and pleasure. This has been called creepy and even scary by those close to me one time or other. Why I ask? What is wrong with my eyes turning black? Surely if brown eyes turning blue is a good thing then changing another way is good too?

As my grandmother explain to me, dark brown eyes are a sign that you're full of crap.

Andrew Ian Dodge takes a little advice from Pink Floyd and has a cigar...

Cigars are a wonderful thing. Pure tobacco leaf at its best, hand- rolled on a virgin’s thigh…er rather lovingly dried, cut and rolled by tobacco experts. With cigars, especially maduros which I smoke, are best when smoked infrequently. The pleasure of smoking a cigar is like none other. Its relaxing and therapeutic all in one go. If you’re clever you can even blow smoke rings to keep yourself and others amused. A nice Churchill maduro cigar from Honduras or Nicaragua is about as good as it gets. No, not better than good sex; but damn near close. Cigars are pure pleasure.

Now tell me again, which one's Pink?

Andrew Ian Dodge takes a look at a racism-industry?

Is the racism establishment in the UK finally waking up to the true threat of Islamism and the drive to turn the UK into a full Sharia state? Sir Trevor Philips is a leading-light in the so-called “racism industry” in the UK and more often is seen bashing companies for their so-called “institutional racism”. He is a bit like Jesse Jackson in the US; but does not do the Rainbow Coalition shakedown of companies. He actually said "Muslims who want sharia law 'should leave,'" in the Guardian of all places. Wonder what the right-on types of that paper will think.

Andrew Ian Dodge looks at Abu Hamsa Al-Masri's kid:

Its seems Dr Hook's kid, an ex-con, is a bleeding rapper. He’s got "lots of anger". This hate-filled little oik is "doing it large" all over London and claims to be big in the M.E.. Would it surprise anyone to hear that Hook Jr. is living off the British taxpayers while he sings the praises of those who will kill them? No doubt there are wiggas at his gigs with no clue that he is rapping about his Islamist brothers killing them some day. Its good to see that Hamza Jr is taking up the family business of spreading hate.

Yeah, I'm sure he'll team up with Houston's Arabic Assassin.

Andrew Ian Dodge rails on civil servants doing anything but serving the public...

Men & woman rage these days about politicians and how useless they are. This is the wrong target; it should be bureaucrats. For it is they that make life a misery for all. You can’t vote the buggers out either. Now I know American & British civil servants are far less bad than even other Western civil servants but that is no excuse. Give the people what they need; make civil servants do their bleeding job. Get them to work hours that are convenient for their customers, the taxpayers, not themselves. Now that's a policy in which I can believe!

I figure the solution is to give civil service jobs to immigrants. Then when they reach retirement age, dump them back home. That way you don't build up patronage or spoils.

Andrew Ian Dodge thinks about his band Growing Old Disgracefully...

As my band takes its trip from nothing to fame…; there have been some milestones. Our first song together, our first trip to the studio, the completion of our first EP and our first gig. A few days ago we hit another milestone, one that is far more modern. We have gotten word that Apple iTunes has accepted our EP to post on their service. We went the solely digital route for this first EP… CD-Baby only having introduced such an option a month before we sent them our debut. Cry Freedom now on iTunes. A nice phrase that innit?

Brokeback Mountain may noit be the best picture, but instead of gay cowboys how about gay footballers? Andrew Ian Dodge is on the case...

The gay row continues in English professional football. An Arsenal player, Ashley Cole, is now sueing the News of the World over the allegations. The funny thing, of course, is that no one was named in the original article. One does have to wonder whether this was a clever idea or not. A smart mobile phone company could rush out a new phone with a really intense vibrate. Call it footballer’s friend or something. We all know that some people want to have anything associated with pro footie. The FA should use this as a marketing tool. Brokeball Pitch anyone?

Because it's hard out there to be a pimp?

Andrew Ian Dodge talks about a recent competition:

A duet celeb competition ends in farce. First of all Sian Reeves can’t sing for toffee (it was painful at times to listen.) On the other hand the couple that didn’t win; Mark and Natasha produced several blistering performances that were tight and spot on. I guess its possible to be just too good. Andy Summers, who was a judge, must be still holding his head in his hands . After the “peoples” result (the judges gave it to the couple who could sing) it’s no wonder the British public chose a white Rapper to sing for GB at Eurovision.

Egad. Not a brit Eminem! Anything but that!

Andrew Ian Dodge chants an anthem for your arousal...

Raise your pints to our boys; Raise it high and make some noise; Cheer them on; raise the flag. What am I on about? Well my song-writing partner and I are going to have a crack at writing England’s World Cup anthem. To be sure, with one notable exception of ‘Three Lions’, the songs for England have not exactly been stellar. With lines like : Wave St George; if you love England; England. oh England We’re going east and we’re gonna win the cup; I am sure we are onto a winner. And there is no mention of the var!

Andrew Ian Dodge keeps us up to date with his charmed life as a wonk.

This week has seen a rather interesting development in my writing career. I have been asked by a UK think-tank to write a 6000+ word piece on the future of the British music scene. What makes me laugh about this is that I was in the think-tank/wonk world in the 90s and never managed to get paid very much. Now I am a scary long-haired leather-clad heavy rock frontman and I will be paid nicely for my piece which will end up in a book from the organisation. The twists and turns of life can be quite amusing at times.

I want to be just like him when I grow old.

Andrew Ian Dodge considers the hate-placards of protestors in London...

The Telegraph has reported that the Police have decided to arrest those with the more vile and violent placards at last month’s Religion of Peace rally. This is probably due to all the pressure on the Police over the matter. As I reported last week even Trevor Philips, chief racism bully, has expressed his concerns over the behaviour at the rally and the recent poll about Sharia law. The British government does seem to be trying to reverse the view that it is being more lenient with Muslims than other sorts. You think the public is going to buy it?

Ah, sweet fickle Lady Justice. When shall we ever see your knickers?

More daily commentary from our man in London, Andrew Ian Dodge...

We may have a rather interesting scenario in the UK with the meddling in British politics from Rome. And no I am not talking about the Catholic Church sticking their oar in British political life. I am talking an Italian prosecutor going after David Mills, Tessa Ja’Woll’s husband for his dealings with Berlusconi. They have “separated” while he deals with his problem. She knows nuthink! Could the biggest hit to the Blair government come from Italy not the Tories or the Lib-Dems? Just shows the state of British politics when the government looks wobbly because of the goings-on in Italy.

For those of you addicted to Andrew's stuff who can't stand my crap, I'll set up an RSS feed just for him.

Andrew Ian Dodge talks about phone taps today:

You are discussing the legality of phone-tap evidence with the Attorney General UK so what do you do? Why you tape the conversation and not bother telling the AG you’re taping him. Of course this is not terribly surprising considering Sir Ian Blair’s past behaviour; after all this is the bloke that wondered aloud why the press was making such a fuss about the Soham murders. This was the case of several young girls being murdered. One does have wonder if this nitwit has the sense to be head of the largest and most important Police Force in the country.

Unlike Ozzy, you can actually understand Andrew Ian Dodge when he talks...

After all the stuff I have done about footballers and their proclivities with/without phones I thought I would change tack a bit and do a piece about Ozzy. The Sun reports that he can’t get wood anymore thanks to the drugs he is on to keep him on an even keel. Course all the booze and other drugs he has shoved into his body probably have not helped stiffy matters either. You could argue that living with his daughter Kelly would convince anyone to stop shagging. Even the remote possibility of having another child like her would make anyone limp.