This is what I'd consider a promo for the podcast. Not much of one, but it gets the point across.

Well, it's a new month, and it means a new round of voting at the various podcast directory sites.

Unlike other podcasters, I implore you not to vote for my own podcast. Instead, I throw all of my spirit and soul into imploring you to vote for another podcast.

Once again, it's IMAO.

So, why vote for Frank?

Let me tell you about Frank.

Frank feels your pain. And, if you're evil or a monkey, he's the cause of it.

Frank invented penicillin. No shit.

Frank is the spirit of America. No, not the plane. That… spirit thing.

Frank loves everyone. Especially people who give him money. Or, give him things he wants, but doesn't ask for money in return.

But most importantly, Frank has me locked in this room, and he won't let me out until IMAO Podcast is number one at Podcast Alley.

Please, for the love of God and all that is holy, vote now.

Vote for Frank right now.

(Plus all the other people who bust their asses to make Frank look most Frankly)

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon.

Thank you for listening to my podcast. I apologize if the sound quality isn't top notch, there's no requests for you to call some feedback line or vote for me on some podcast listing service, or suckups to Adam Curry.

I'm not about that. I'd rather focus on writing.

Anyway, I just wanted to invite you to write and record your own 100 word story and send it to me via email. Laurence at isfullofcrap dot com. I'd like to air it for you.

Oh, and of course, this announcement is 100 words long.

Here's my podcast for the new year:

Hi there. This is Laurence Simon.

2006 already?

Instead of the usual 100 word story, I'd like to wish everyone a healthy and prosperous New Year.

Also, one word of advice: if you must go all Yosemite Sam at the stroke of midnight, firing your guns in the air, use blanks.

But remember to switch your blanks for live rounds after you've welcomed the New Year in with a bang. After all, rapists and burglars may be planning a little New Year's party at your place, invited or not.

Happy New Year, everyone, and this message is 100 words long.

Isn't it odd how liberals will hand out clean needles for drug addicts and condoms for homosexuals and teenagers to prevent AIDS, but you don't see them going around poor black neighborhoods with boxes of blank cartridges to keep people from dying when bullets fired to ring in the new year come raining down?

Oh well. One day they'll figure it out.

As some of you know, the 100 Words Or Les Nessman site is no longer running.

I'd like to thank Stacy and Michelle for both building the site and allowing me to participate as a featured writer there while it lasted. It was fun. Really.

I'd also like to extend an invitation to anyone who still yearns for writing 100 word stories. I don't care how crappy your microphone is - just keep your creative juices flowing. Send me your 100 word stories and I'll put them out on the podcast.

Yeah, I know. This announcement was 100 words long.

I am experimenting with Fruitcast for the next month or so. Please change your subscriptions to point to http://www.fruitcast.com/public/feed/343/.

The old feeds will no longer be updated, unless Fruitcast turns out to be a horrific Microsoft Bob style flop, of course.

I'm hoping it won't be. A few extra pennies in my pockets as well as the pockets of those who also write stories here wouldn't be a bad thing.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any problems with the new feed.

This is a 30 second promo for the podcast.

Vocal and musical talents provided by Rahel Jaskow from her Day Of Rest CD - Lullabye

I don't know if you've marked your calendar, but today marks the first anniversary of this 100 Word Stories Podcast.

Thanks to everyone out there listening to this badly-mixed madness, and an extra-special thanks to everyone who's contributed their own 100 word creations.

Michaelangelo once said "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."

I once swore an oath that I'd write a new 100 word story every day until the day I die. Since I keep waking up in the morning, I suppose I will keep picking up the chisel and hammering away.

It appears I need to promote my book a little better, so Caleb Bullen of the Black Tie Martini Club Oddcast has volunteered this lovely spot for your consideration...

Hiya friends. It's your old pal Caleb here and if you're anything like me, you should probably take that duck off your head. Also, you probably have wanted to turn your friends, neighbors, cheerleaders, sea captains and other assorted technophobes on to Laurence Simon's one hundred word stories but couldn't get them to go to anything that's full of crap. Well now your problems are over because Laurence Simon has published a paperback book with one hundred of his best one hundred word stories. It makes the perfect gift for anyone who likes to read but has attention deficit disorder.

Hello, everyone. My name is Laurence Simon.

I'm in the final round of the Pickle Tales Story competition at Podcast Pickle, and I need your support.

But most of all, I need your love.

You see, I used to have the support of a little brown cat named Piper. She and I had been together ten years, and we were a team up through the first four rounds of this competition.

But her little kitty heart gave out during the fifth round of competition. Just like Rocky Balboa, I'd lost my Mickey.

Or maybe my Apollo Creed. Apollo from the fourth movie, not from the first or second, when he was beating the crap out of Rocky...

Oh, wait... like Adrian. Adrian always yelling from the crowd, and in the sixth movie, where she's dead, but... hold on... Rocky gets another chick to yell for him... "Rooooockkkkyyyyyyy!"

This isn't working.

Forget about the support and love and Rocky stuff.

I'll just settle for you listening to both stories, registering in the forums, and then voting for the one that you think is the best.

Once again, my name is Laurence Simon, and my neurologist would be proud I've remembered that fact throughout recording this entire piece.

Thank you.

1. Listen (If you don't want to slog through all the lead-in garbage, Phil's story begins at 36:00 into the show.)
2. Register
3. Vote
4. Spread the word

Hello, everyone. My name is Laurence Simon.

I'm in the final round of the Pickle Tales Story competition at Podcast Pickle, and I need your support.

It's been a tough competition so far, and so many talents have fallen by the wayside round by round to my devastating storytelling prowess.

There was... um.... that... um... Mexican-sounding... guy... and... the... funny group... those funny people... you know, the ones who do school assemblies?

Oh, and there was that guy who was really, really boring one round... and then there was the guy who... I think he wore a hat...

Okay, I admit. I didn't listen to any of the or pay attention to them. I just listened to my piece over and over, enjoying the sound of my own voice.

As so should you. Head over to the Podcast Pickle, register for the site, and vote for your favorite piece.

And if you really insist on it, listen to the two pieces. Not that I'm going to. I mean, why start now, right?

Once again, my name is Laurence Simon, not Tyler Durden.

Thank you.

1. Listen (If you don't want to slog through all the lead-in garbage, Phil's story begins at 36:00 into the show.)
2. Register
3. Vote
4. Spread the word

Hello, everyone. My name is Laurence Simon.

I'm in the final round of the Pickle Tales Story competition at Podcast Pickle, and I need your support.

Now, my campaign advisors have given me a list of mudslinging tactics to belittle my opponent Phil Rossi, and I want to state here and now that I will not engage in slanderous, untrue accusations.

I run a clean campaign.

I won't accuse Phil of having attended a radical Wahab madrassa in Indonesia during his formative years. Like Barack Obama did. Or... didn't.

Neither will I call into question his sexuality... what a man does with pandas in his private residence is his own business. Especially if he's making a lot of money doing it live on streaming webcams.

And I certainly won't accuse him of being Adolf Hitler. As we all know, Adolf Hitler died back in 1945.

Or so the Germans would have us believe.

But even if Hitler is dead, it is a distinct possibility that Phil Rossi is not a clone of Adolf Hitler. Or Pol Pot. Or Ghengis Khan. Or Josef Stalin or any other mass-murdering genocidal maniac from history.

No, I'm going to keep this clean and fair, an honest campaign.

Head over to the Podcast Pickle forums, listen to the two stories, register for the forums, and vote for your favorite piece that was not performed by a genetic copy of the greatest war criminal in history.

Once again, my name is Laurence Simon Wiesenthal... I mean... forget that Wiesenthal bit... unless you don't want to.

Thank you.

1. Listen (If you don't want to slog through all the lead-in garbage, Phil's story begins at 36:00 into the show.)
2. Register
3. Vote
4. Spread the word

I've created a 45 second promo for the show using Guy David's music bed.

Give it a listen. And, if you're desperate for material, include it in your podcast.

Even though I am still writing and recording stories, the transition from an old server to a newer server has rendered it next to impossible to keep posting entries in the podcast as well as my other sites.

So, I'm taking a break from posting until this settles down in a few days.

The Weekly Challenge is still on, though.

In case you need a 30 second promo for 100 Word Stories for any reason.

I think we'll be hearing this on Jett Show soon.

And Guy David's podcasts, which I have been making more of an effort to point out to various people who could use some background music for their own podcasts.

Since it appears I have the rest of 2007 off from work due to a glitch in Paid Time Off calculations, I figure I should use that time unwisely and unproductively.

So, I'd like to assemble an End Of The Year podcast of unique and deranged proportions.

If you're interested in this exercise in ego, drop me a line through the comments or through email (crapmariner@isfullofcrap.com) or through Skype (isfullofcrap).

Hopefully, I won't boof this as badly as I boofed the 12 Days Of Gridmas.