Archive for the ‘Alan Scott’ Category

All Locked Up

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I forget when I lock things, so I made a key chain with little plastic reminders when a door is locked or appliance is on.

Instead of worrying, I now just look at my reminders on my key chain.

I was in a rush this morning and forgot to set the reminders... Or did I?

Or did I forget to reset the reminders from when I last unlocked those things, and then forgetting to lock them again, so...

I throw away the key chain, lock the locks, sit in my chair, and hum happily in the darkness.

All locked up.

alllockedup.mp3

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Hallowed

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The final of three tales from fellow HWRNMNBSOL disciple Alan P. Scott.

We file into the sanctuary, folding into our pews. The Christ above His altar beams through His blessed agony. Oddly fixed in shape, just four tentacles and one sense-bud, eyes embedded in its hard shell. Yet He is Lord, and before Him we had none. So we sing His praises as we are able.
His spirit fills me as never before. I shove past limbs retracting and extending, stumbling to the altar. I kneel before His cross and swear: I dedicate myself to His service.
Tomorrow I have the operation. Four tentacles, and one sense-bud. Remade, in His Image. Amen.

In a perfect world, this would entice HWRNMNBSOL out of his lair, but apparently he requires a blood-sacrifice.
Time to hit the pet store.

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Arachne

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Alan P. Scott offers up a second 100 word story for your enlightenment.

Reshmi - flowering, sixteen - sells code from her loom. "Programs Woven Here," reversing Jacquard since age thirteen. Geeks buzz around her.
Madhukar offers his tattered web browser.
"It needs patched."
Reshmi dimples.
"More a whole garment, think I. But no worries. It will be perfect."
Madhukar plunges.
"And...
"Would you dance with me at festival tomorrow?"
He is her first.
"Yes."
*
But she doesn't. Her stall empty, ransacked. Madhukar receives email with one large attachment: rewoven, as promised.
Madhukar clicks ever deeper into the deepest web. Madhukar can go anywhere. It's perfect - and he realizes who Reshmi angered.

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Feng Shui

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I did a search for 100 word stories out on the net and found Alan P. Scott, a fellow fan of HWRNMNBSOL. Here's the first of three stories he's generously contributed to the podcast for your enjoyment...

My cubicle has the best feng shui in the office. Everybody says so. The monitor is angled just right to repel demons, and little strips of black tape tell me where my pens and pencils go for optimum efficiency.
The only problem is, it's not working. I have been passed up for promotion *three times*, each time beaten by a cheerful slob with a messy desk. It's not fair.
Master Yap is willing to provide one more consultation. I know now what I must do.
No more desk. No more chair. I sit on the mat and wait for promotion.

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