Flying makes me very nervous. When I head out to the airport I have butterflies in my stomach. By the time I get on the plane the butterflies have mutated to condors. Apart from natural disasters like wind shear and freak storms, now we have to worry about terrorists and such. There must be a million parts in a seven-forty seven.

So many gauges so many knobs and gadgets, so much can go wrong. I take a deep breath to calm down. I grab the microphone and announce.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard, this is your captain speaking."