Posts Tagged ‘horror’
Remember that supermodel Kate Moss? Yeah the really thin chick. Really thin. Scary thin. She could put on a bikini and double her weight. yeah, that's her. You could see the bones in her hips… her arms, really unattractive, yet, she was a model.
well, she got bitten by a zombie... kept groaning brains, and all, but when it got right down to it, after all the biting and attacking and stuff, she didn't really eat any brains. Oh, sure, she’d moan braaaaaaains along with the rest of the pack, she ended up just pushing them round on her plate."
Kate
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Tags: horror
Posted in Halloween, My Own Crap |
No matter how hard Frederick tried to keep them from covering his hill, the flowers always managed to grow.
The first message they spelled was "FREDERICK SUCKS."
Frederick thought it was a prank, so he tore up the flowers and watched the hill.
When he woke the next morning, the flowers returned: "FREDERICK KILLED JENNY."
Frederick panicked. "Demons!" he shouted.
Frederick tore up the flowers again, and hired some locals to guard the hill in shifts in case he fell asleep.
Which, of course, he did.
"Now he's paying us," said a guard. "Sweet. So, what shall we spell now?"
theflowers.mp3
Tags: history, horror, silly
Posted in My Own Crap, The Best Of 100 Word Stories |
We matched velocity and docked with the luxury liner.
The alarm went off as we suited up. Damn, those things are annoying.
Floating throughout the ship we found dozens of lifesacks. Must have been sudden atmospheric failure.
Every one contained a passenger or a crewman. All dead. No survivors.
Was this a bad batch of lifesacks? The hole stabbed in each suggested no. Each victim was frozen in horror.
Who's the murderer? We checked manifest… all accounted for.
Did they finish everyone off, then themselves?
Whatever. That's the Orbital Navy's problem. We're pirates.
We robbed the cargo hold and left.
ghostship.mp3
Tags: horror, mystery, science fiction
Posted in My Own Crap, Talk Like A Pirate Day |
The gigantic squid crawled through the streets of Manhattan, dragging a bored blonde beauty in one of its slimy tentacles.
"It just isn't the same," she said. "It's nothing personal, it's just me."
The gigantic squid stopped and clacked its beak.
"I don't have anything against squid in particular," said the woman. "I admire your radial symmetry and your color-shifting skills. But it's just that ever since I had that little fling with Kong, I just can't see myself with anything different than a gigantic simian."
She and the gigantic squid parted ways. They wrote for a while, then nothing.
notkong.mp3
Tags: horror, movies, romance, silly
Posted in My Own Crap, The Best Of 100 Word Stories |
The warden got tired of screaming at Governor Jackass about running out of room on Death Row. Simple math: too many walking in, not enough leaving feet-first.
On the day the last empty cell was taken, the warden got word yet another prisoner was coming.
No room. That's when he took matters into his own hands: Any new prisoner coming in that needed a cell would have to kill a man for his cell.
One in, one out. Simple math.
Eventually, word got out.
Horrified, the governor put a new warden in office.
The old one left feet-first. Simple math.
simplemath.mp3
Tags: dystopia, horror, sick
Posted in My Own Crap |
It was a nice day out until the meteors came.
Or maybe they were asteroids. Or comets.
I have no idea. I'm no astronomer.
Big rocks, smashing into the earth. How's that?
Good.
All I know is that one minute it's nice and sunny, and the next minute I'm holding my hands to my bloody ears, screaming at the sky.
I think I'm screaming, because I can't hear myself. My throat is raw and I'm shaking.
And then I stop.
If my ears have blown out, then everybody else's have.
What's the point of screaming if nobody can hear you?
hellogod.mp3
Tags: horror, science fiction
Posted in My Own Crap |
My wife, she went out of town. Seven days.
I dropped her off at the airport, tell her I love her, or did she tell me? Both?
I'm so confused.
First day gone, I trip and fall. I can't move.
My neck's broken?
How many days has it been?
I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. I've pissed and shit myself a bunch of times.
Phone's ringing. Again. They'll leave a message.
Yup. Message beep.
I've tried to yell, but I'm face down. Doesn't go far. Muffled cries.
I can weep. But that's drying me out.
Seven days.
So thirsty. So hungry.
Fuck.
alone.mp3
Tags: dirty, horror, mystery
Posted in My Own Crap |
Dr. Franklin laughed.
"Sam is so gullible, you can drop him in a padded round room, tell him the door out is right around the corner, and he'll wear himself out looking for it."
Dr. Franklin turned on the speaker for the chamber's locked hatch. "Found it yet, Sam?"
I tapped Dr. Franklin on the shoulder. "I think so."
Dr. Franklin gasped. "But… how… Sam… did… where…"
"Look for yourself," I said.
Dr Franklin spent the next six years pacing that round room. "I know it's here somewhere, Sam."
I'd show him, but it would only make him even crazier.
paceitagain.mp3
Tags: horror, memory
Posted in My Own Crap |
When I look in the mirror, I see a monster.
This hideous monster looks back at me, giving me just as thorough an inspection as I give it.
He follows me from mirror to mirror, never leaving me alone.
I've been tempted to smash the mirrors, but cracking them might smash the barrier between our worlds and let him step through to our world.
No, I cannot do that.
Instead, I cover the mirrors.
Frustrated, he tries to spy on me in the bottoms of pots and pans. Or in the sheen of a just-washed dinner plate.
Stay away, monster.
monstermirror.mp3
Tags: horror
Posted in My Own Crap |
The closer to the front, the quicker you handle support calls.
Even though it's important to get grunts' systems back up and running so they can fight, the real issue is purely self-preservation.
Sure, you can remote or tell the grunt to reboot. Or they'll pull out a spare and send the damaged unit back, but some situations demand hands-on solutions.
This was one of them. And as I was racing to the front, my jeep hit a landmine. Blew everything to bits around me.
And into me. Doctors are still picking bits and pieces out of my bloody gut.
downgrade.mp3
Tags: horror, war
Posted in My Own Crap |
